Mom: Do you want me to go in with you?
Me: No, it’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.
I entered the gynaecologist’s office, had my examination, and finally sat down to hear the words no 17 year old expects to hear...
Doctor: I believe you are infertile; you don’t have a uterus.
Me: I want my mom.
My mom entered the room with my one-and-a-half-year-old sister sleeping in her arms and sat down.
Doctor: I believe Andreia is infertile. I think she doesn’t have a uterus.
The words were echoing in my head: you are infertile... you don’t have a uterus.... Tears were running down my face. I kept asking
"Does that mean I won't be able to have children?", over and over again, as if expecting a different response from the doctor.
I was in shock...
How did this happen? Did I do something wrong? Is it genetic? What does this mean for me as a woman? How can I grieve the children I never had? How can I process this? Everything was a blur from that moment on, and I don’t remember much. I had too many questions and too many feelings. Not enough answers. Everything was just too much.
By that time, tears were also running down my mom’s face. We walked alongside each other, not saying much. I’m sure she had too many questions and too many feelings as well. We met my dad and gave him
the news. I’m sure he was just as sad and devastated as we were, but despite the feelings and questions arising inside him, he put on a brave face and said, “
We’ll sort it, I promise.” This was the day my life changed forever.
***
The days, months and years that followed were a journey of rediscovery. A journey of learning who I was, learning to love myself and choosing to be happy despite my circumstances. It was bumpy road, that I'm sure many of you recognise.
It was a few years ago that I decided to transform my challenge into something positive, and the
Enhanced Fertility Programme was born. I wanted to combine my personal experience of infertility, and my professional experience as a nurse, to help others with the physical and emotional aspects of this challenging journey. I invite you to look around our website and download our app. This is my way to grow beyond my infertility. This is my contribution to this amazing community, to all of you, who need to be listened, acknowledged, cared for. You are not alone.
